How To Get Rid of Hiccups
by Kittycatkyla
Summary: Naraku X Inuyasha. Yaoi. One-shot. Funny...? Readers decretion is advised. Naraku and Inuyasha are lovers and Naraku can't stand hiccups.


"Ah, ah!" Inuyasha tilted his head back in ecstasy.

Naraku thrust, holding Inuyasha's wrist by his own hip.

"Ah, fuck!" Inuyasha yelled, his body jolting with every thrust. "Nar-Naraku!"

Naraku grinned as he thrust in hard, causing Inuyasha to exclaim and let out a small white ribbon of semen. But the half-breed clamped his hand over his member, his face screwing up in pleasure as he attempted to hold back his orgasm.

"Fuck, ah, hah!"

Naraku leaned down and kissed Inuyasha, pulling the boys' hands away and pinning them by his head. Naraku slipped his tongue into the dog's mouth, opening Inuyasha's mouth as much as he could.

Inuyasha moaned and spread his legs more. He moved his hips to match Naraku's movements and they fell into a rhythm. Naraku groaned in pleasure.

Naraku thrust hard, his own climax drawing near.

"Ah, ah!" Inuyasha broke the kiss by turned his head away. Naraku clamped his teeth onto Inuyasha's neck instead, looking up at the half-breed. "Nar-Narak-ku! Cum-cumming! Gonna—ah!"

Inuyasha tilted his head down and screamed in pleasure as he splattered his chest white, bucking his hips to the spasm.

Naraku groaned as he thrust in as hard as he could. He filled Inuyasha's insides with his cum, thrusting two more times to milk out every drop.

The two lied in an afterglow, panting hard. Naraku slumped on top of Inuyasha, releasing his grip on the boy's wrist though he still rested them on his. Once the spider snapped out of his daze, Naraku pulled out of Inuyasha, a trail of whiteness leading from the boy's entrance to the spider's cock head.

Naraku looked down at Inuyasha and leaned down for a kiss. His tongue slid into Inuyasha's mouth. The half-breed felt the contact but couldn't react for a few moments longer. Then Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Naraku's neck. The half-breed moaned. Naraku split away, licking Inuyasha's lips one last time before sitting up.

"You came really hard." Naraku said. "Did you have fun?"

Inuyasha looked up and opened his mouth to reply.

"*hiccup*"

Naraku's and Inuyasha's eyes widened a moment. Then Naraku's eyes narrowed.

"Sexy." He stated plainly and rolled off him, standing up and heading to the bath house.

Inuyasha watched Naraku leave, another hiccup escaping his lips.

'_**The hell? I've never had hiccups before.'**_

He hiccupped again. Then again.

'_**I don't like them though.'**_

Inuyasha stood and went to the bath.

Naraku turned to look at him. He looked at Inuyasha with a slight smile then his eyes narrowed a moment when Inuyasha hiccupped again.

"You should get rid of those." Naraku said.

"I'm going to." Inuyasha said. "I need to get clean first."

Naraku stared at him then turned his attention back to the water.

"What's with the *hiccup* cold shoulder?" Inuyasha snarled as he sat in the water.

"I don't like hiccups," The spider said without hesitation. "They're annoying."

"Well, excuse *hiccup* me for getting *hiccup* them."

Naraku's eyes narrowed then he huffed and turned his head away.

The bathhouse became silent—except for Inuyasha's hiccups—as Inuyasha finger himself to get the liquid out of him. Once that was done, the dog washed his skin and hopped out. Just soaking in the water to begin with, Naraku followed, getting dress by the dog then leaving with him

Inuyasha left the bedroom. Naraku followed.

Inuyasha went straight to the kitchen, sighing as he walked into the open doorway.

Byakuya stood next to a table in the kitchen, eating a mango. He looked over at Inuyasha when he entered. They stared at each other for a moment but they said nothing.

Naraku leaned against the doorway, watching everything in silence.

Inuyasha walked over and filled a bamboo pipe with water. He chugged it down then held his breath and counted to ten—only on eight he hiccupped again.

"Shit."

Byakuya watched him. Inuyasha tried again and ended up hiccupping on five.

"Shit."

"So you have the hiccups, huh?" Byakuya asked.

"Shut up." Inuyasha replied.

"Angry."

Once again he tired and hiccupped while chugging the water. He choked on it and ended up hacking. Byakuya chuckled.

"Shit!"

Inuyasha hiccupped while coughing and choked again, his throat hurting as he coughed.

"Fuck."

"You know, they say that if you hiccup a hundred times, you'll die." Naraku said.

"Shut up."

"Here," Byakuya walked over to Inuyasha and grabbed him by his hips, standing behind him. "Bend over."

"Wha—!" Inuyasha blushed. "No fucking *hiccup* way!"

"No, if you bend over and drink a cup of water, it works five times better than just drinking and counting to ten."

Inuyasha stared at him with suspicion.

"And you need to *hiccup* stand behind me because…"

"Well, I _was_ going to help you bend over but since you're so distrusting…" Byakuya raised his hands and walked off.

Inuyasha stared at him with narrowed eyes then filled the bamboo cup again. He cast another suspicious look at the man of the mirage. Then he bent over as far as he could without hurting himself and took a sip.

Automatically he started choking. Because his head was tilted down, the water went straight up his nostrils. He jolted up and stood against the table, coughing wildly.

Byakuya was on the ground, kicking his feet hysterically as he laughed as loud as he could.

"Oh, god!" Byakuya laughed. "I didn't think he would actually do it! I didn't think he would…" he fell into a fit of laughter.

"You bastard! *hiccup*" Inuyasha coughed.

"Whoop, time to go."

Byakuya stood automatically and ran to the door.

"Get back here, you *hiccup* jackass!" Inuyasha gave chase.

Naraku watched with uninterested eyes as Byakuya ran by. Inuyasha followed him only to the doorway and huffed.

"I didn't think you were that gullible." Naraku said.

"Shut up, you!" Inuyasha glared up at him. "The water-hold-breath thing *hiccup* didn't work. Do you know any other *hiccup* ways to get rid of hiccups?!"

"…Doesn't honey get rid of it?"

"Honey?"

Naraku nodded. "Honey soothes the throat. If you inhaled too much smoke, it's good to drink honey. It might have the same affect."

"…Worth a try. *hiccup* Do we have any *hiccup* honey?"

Inuyasha turned and looked through the cupboards. He found a jar of honey, the golden liquids sticking to the sides of its container. He put it to his lips and tilted his head back like he was drinking it. He devoured it, his mouth feeling like it was being glued together.

Inuyasha banged on his chest to help swallow the honey then exhaled.

"Don't hurt yourself." Naraku said.

"Shut *hiccup* up."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed along with Naraku's at the hiccup that escaped the dog's throat.

"SHIT!" Inuyasha yowled then turned around as if to cut down an enemy.

"Seems as if you can't get rid of your hiccups." Naraku said, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Looks as if it I no longer need you. Leave my manor immediately."

Inuyasha's eyes went wide and his heart wrenched in pain and fear. _**'Wha-what? Naraku…he can't be that shallow…'**_

"What-what?! You can't be serious!" Inuyasha turned, staring at the spider with teary eyes.

Naraku looked at the dog, both of them silence for a long while, then he smiled. "Seems as if that got rid of them." Naraku said.

Inuyasha's eyes went wide when he realized the implication.

"You-you bastard! That was not funny!"

"They say that if you scare someone then they'll lose their hiccups."

"I know that! But that was mean, you dick! You scared me! You could have come up with a different method to *hiccup* scare…me…"

The room fell silent.

Naraku's eyes narrowed dangerously. He grabbed Inuyasha by the wrist and dragged him out of the kitchen.

"Eh?" Inuyasha voiced.

Naraku dragged him back to the bedroom and tossed him on the bed, hard. Inuyasha's eyes closed to the movement then he went to sit up only to have Naraku push him down as the spider clamored over him.

"What are you doing?" Inuyasha asked, wide-eyed.

"Let's see if sex will get rid of them."

"What—wait—waaaah!"

Inuyasha was drained. He had no strength what so ever, not even to raise his head. His breathing came out in long gasps and his body slightly twitched.

Naraku laid over him, panting slightly, a grin plastered to his face.

"Well, are they gone?"

Inuyasha looked up at him. "They disappeared half-way through." His voice was scratchy.

"Go—*hiccup*—od."

Both of them fell silent at the hiccup that escaped Naraku's mouth.

Then Inuyasha laughed loudly. "Ha! Now you have them! Haha!"

"You—this is your fault *hiccup*!"

"Ha!" Inuyasha clamored out from under Naraku, grabbed his clothes and ran out of the room, laughing at his lover. Once outside the room, he tossed on his clothes and continued to run.

Naraku glared after him then put on his clothes and gave chase, all the while hiccupping.

* * *

**And done.**

**God, I didn't think this one was funny at all. The whole point was for it to be funny but I had no amusement in this story. I had a friend read it and she said it was funny but I couldn't really see it. Maybe I just don't like this sense of humor. But whatever.**

**Please, leave a review and tell me if you think it's funny or not. I won't be insulted if you don't think it is or not (unless your just out right trying to be rude, like saying "it's sucks," or "it's crap.) Just state whether you like it or not.**

**This is the shortest thing I've done and I wasn't really into it so it might be a crap story just in general becuase I didn't want to waste a lot of time going through and making it sound good like I've done with all my other ones.**

**Please, leave a review if you think that this is bad compared to the other stories. I really would like to know these things.**

**Alright so the next one might be a yaoi. Or it might me a KogaXKagome. I haven't decided. Leave a vote of what you want in the reviews too on which one you want to see next.**

**Hope to see you next time.**

**Kittycatkyla**


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